Google's Next Big Thing

[A company owned by geeks - its obvious what is next: KITT]

I think, after spending quite a while putting all the information I have together and filling in the blanks what Google's next big aim is.

So, from what I can tell the original founding members of Google - Larry Page and Sergey Brin put this list together as things to do with their lives:

1. Create cool geeky technology 
2. Create company to spread technology
3. Get rich, famous, powerful
4. Take over the world
5. Create a car as cool as KITT

I figure the above is any geek's list. It certainly would be my list. So, having completed points 1,2,3,4 already it is time to work on point 5.

So, sub-points for this are –

1. It must talk
2. It must take orders
3. It must drive itself
4. It must come when I talk to my watch
5. It must be bulletproof
6. Turboboost!

So, point 5 has been done so let’s see about the other points:

Point 1 and 2 are done by Android already but Apple has taken it to the next level. I guess Google will take it even further. Naturally you’d need an android device embedded into the car. Guess who owns android technology? Google. The first commercial car radio was made by Motorola Mobility – Google owns them. But watch Motorola Mobility for a talking “box” that can also listen, chat and take orders. (So, I’ll check off points 1 and 2...)

Point 3 has been done by Google – and is on the way to be legal in Nevada (thanks to Google). Check off point 3.

Finally… a smart watch –  check. It needs to be able to talk to the car – check. It needs to be able to pinpoint your position – check. (Actually, not sure if these have GPS but it is not unreasonable to expect that they do or will have soon). It also needs to be able to relay orders again – check.

So, put all this technology together and you have the ability to call your car via your watch and ask it to come to you and it will – all by itself. 

The technology is all done… it is just a matter of putting it together. Take the car and make it bulletproof. Put run-flat tyres on it. (And cool black paint. And a funky red LED on the front.)

Now all the Google guys have to do is perfect Turbo-boost. And get Hoff-worthy hairy chests.

I wonder if Google will go into making helicopters that can fly faster than sound…? Maybe that’s next on their list.

I bought a Kreepy Krauly BullShark...

[... and the documentation came on CD-Rom.]

I think this is totally missing the whole point. Why not just give me paper?

It can't be more environmentally friendly to make a CD, copy the information onto it and then print a pretty design onto the CD.

So my story is that on Sunday, I opened the box, took everything out. I decided to do the installation by the book. And there was no book. Just a CD.

So, I had to go inside, boot up my PC, load the CD, run the software, click through the options.

Then run outside, do some installation.

Run back inside read up some more, run outside, run inside.

Still no luck so I have to take some of the wet pieces of the unit inside, put them quite close to my PC. Run outside.

This is not a major complaint (unlike my last post) but it just shows how someone decided to use technology because it was cool but really it just makes life difficult.

Why #nokia gets a #brandfail from me

It is with great sadness that I write this post. I love Nokia. Loved. When something that you really like so much disappoints you so badly then it takes a lot to gain that respect back.

The short story is that my Nokia E71 stopped working a few weeks back and I took into Nokia to be fixed. They refuse to fix it alleging that it is "liquid-damaged". I refuse to believe that the cause is Liquid-damage. And they refuse to listen to me and fix the device.

I have had a very long history with Nokia. The first cellphone I ever used was a Nokia 2110 (The Brick). I have had many different Nokia "candybar" phones of differing features and costs. My last one was a 6233 which I really, really enjoyed using even though it was a Symbian S40 device. It got stolen and I moved onto a phone I coveted for ages - the E71.

The E71 was everything I wanted in a phone and I used all of its features. When my car radio was stolen, my phone became my music player. It was my diary. It was my watch. It was my browser. It was my mail. My connection to my world. I downloaded all the Google services that I could and all the Ovi services. I even signed up for Nokia Music. The only issue I had with my phone was the expensive Maps software but when Ovi Maps became free for the E71 then my phone was completely perfect.

I actually talked 2 people into buying E71s, 1 person to get an E72 and 2 people into buying E62s.

Then my phone starting flaking out.

One day it just started switching off. Strange, because usually the battery life is great. But that was fine, I charged it and it came back again.

Then one day it just would not switch on.

I took it to a shop and tried a different battery and no luck. We tried another battery and still no luck. I took it to another shop and we tried another battery. Finally I borrowed a battery from a friend who also had an E71 and still no luck. It wasn't the battery.

So I took my phone into two MTN shops and they both said it would take about a month to fix my phone. I should have gone for it but the one lady did mention that a Nokia shop would be able to look at my phone within one hour and "probably fix it" right then.

I was sold so I drove to the Nokia shop with my E71.

This is where the wheels fell off the cart.

I spoke to a lady who told me that if a non-Nokia-approved technician had worked on the phone then the warranty would be void and I would have to pay for their time. No worries there. She also told me that if the phone had suffered any liquid damage then the same would apply. No worries there.

Or so I thought.

At this point let me get it clear:

I have NEVER dropped my phone in water or any other liquid.
I have NEVER spilt coffee or any other drink on my phone.
I have NEVER lent my phone to anyone who wasn't in my general vicinity.

I would swear to the above in a court of law and sign an affidavit that says as much. I have even offered to do so for Nokia.

What I can't promise is that my phone has never come into contact with water. There is water in the air. I can't promise that I have never walked in the rain with my phone in my pocket although it hasn't rained for a long time in Johannesburg.

So, knowing the above, I handed in my phone. Signed the documents. The E71 has a known issue in that it picks up pocket fluff and some of that can get into the area between the screen and the glass over the screen so I asked that they clean that. I then went for a walk around the shopping centre for about an hour.

When I returned I was informed that the phone could not be fixed because the motherboard was no longer working and it is too expensive to replace the motherboard. Apparently its actually cheaper just to replace the whole phone.

I was also told that there was "liquid damage".

The blood drained from my face. How could there be?! It was like I had walked into an alternate reality like a Lewis Carroll novel.

They pulled up a screenshot of the back the inside of my phone where the battery lives. They showed me the damage and told me that it looks like "liquid damage". The picture was taken very zoomed in and close up it seems that two places on the motherboard have something the looks like rust.

The one thing they confirmed is that they were not able to find any moisture in the phone itself at all - not in the speakers (which are usually the worst parts for water damage) and not in the screen (which has dry fluff in it). But tucked away behind the battery is some sort of "rust" that "proves" liquid damage and hence according to Nokia this lets them off the hook from their warranty and they are therefore not liable to repair the phone.

When the shop people started telling me that my phone could have gotten the damage from water in the air or "sometimes you sweat and your phone in your pocket could have absorbed it" was when I decided that I should leave.

Nokia phones.

So, I left the store fuming. I left my phone there because now, not only did I not get my phone fixed and not only would they not fix it but I had to pay a "consulting fee" for them trying to fix a phone that was not fixable and they would be keeping my phone until they got that money.

I did sign that I would pay the consulting fee if there was water damage. I don't debate that. But I was shocked to find out that there was allegedly liquid damage. Two shops had swapped out batteries without noticing anything wrong with the motherboard but then they didn't have a magnifying glass to hunt for signs of possible "liquid damage" and I *knew* that I had never caused liquid to get into the phone.

I was cross but I figured that a simple call to Nokia head office would sort everything out. They are a very switched on firm and would like to help me out once they hear my story. So I spoke to a very kind, sweet woman and told her the whole story above including the bit about being willing to sign an affidavit and the "water in the air". To her credit she told me the water in the air story is junk. However, the Policy is the Policy and if the shop said it was "liquid damage" then there is nothing that Nokia can do. Can do or would do?

She suggested that I take it to another Nokia shop and get a second opinion. This means I risk another "consulting fee" of R250 in the hopes that another Nokia store may decide that the damage is not water damage. She suggested that I take it to MTN which means she is just passing the buck.

WTF?! Can she not just admit that the phone is defective and get it sorted out? No - there is the Policy.

Can I get someone independent to check the phone out? No, only a Nokia authorised repair person can open the phone or the warranty is gone anyway.

So here I am without a phone and feeling totally let down. My insurance will cover my phone for water damage and I'll be able to replace it but I guess I just wanted Nokia to come to the party.

Actually, I guess I had too much respect for the Nokia brand and wanted reality to reflect my perception.

I'm not an Apple person but I'm surrounded by happy Blackberry users. I guess my next phone will be a Blackberry ... something I've been fighting for a while now but I've been let down.

[OT] Men are chickens**t.

If you walk into (any) Exclusive Books book store and go to the counter you will be confronted by a whole bunch of gifts.

There are bookmarks, pens, little torches etc. And there are little gift-books. Some are small, some are sentimental, some are silly but they are all intended to be gifts.

So, on the counter at the EB in Cresta shopping centre are two boxes that hold books. One is called "Don'ts For Husbands" with a blue cover and one is called "Don'ts For Wives" with a pink cover.

Now remember, these are by the gift books, not on the shelves where you'd go to browse and buy a book for yourself. So, the intention of these books is for a husband to buy for his wife and vice-versa.

All the "Don't For Husbands" were snapped up by wives and given. The "Don'ts For Wives" were still on the shelf. The one copy that was purchased was apparently buried with the husband the next day.

You've got to love married bliss.

(This whole article is true - except for the bit about the one copy of "Don'ts For Wives" missing.)



(The pic above is not such great quality but take my word for it - there are no copies in the left box and the box on the right is almost full.)

[OT] Open Question to Nokia

So, I have a Nokia E71.

It is absolutely amazing. There is very little in the way of hardware that I can fault.

My wife has a Nokia too and its camera is so good that our regular camera is now collecting dust.

Bottom line - we love our Nokias.

But, Nokia fail on one aspect which I would hope that they can sort out.

According to this Vodacom page, a Blackberry subscription with Vodacom costs R60 and includes email, all on-device-browsing and most importantly - turn-by-turn navigation.

Nokia offer an email service which is "free for now". My browsing is pretty much covered by my contract and I try not to browse from my phone if I can help it.

But... navigation is R100 a month. That is truly mad. It is almost double the Blackberry deal and doesn't include the email, browsing, etc etc.

If Noka want to compete in the new cellphone world then they need to realise that there is more to a cellphone than just the device. There is a service now and Nokia need to make the price realistic. I wouldn't swap my Nokia for Blackberry any day but Nokia needs to come to the party and bring services that are not ridiculously priced.

So, Nokia, what can you do?

[OT] 7 Habits of highly effective procrastinators

Sorry Mr Covey,

1. Be proactive - procrastinators don't have it easy. Its hard work doing nothing. Make sure you have a plan set up. What if someone discovers how little work you do? Make sure you have a messy desk so you look busy. Arrange false meetings, etc. Book your calendar full. Use your phone a lot. Browse website. Do a blog.

2. Begin with the end in mind - visualize how not to work, what you can be doing, how to get around obstacles like bosses and HR.

3. First things first - blah blah blah long term goals etc etc. You know the drill. Also delegate; if you have to do something make sure that its delegation.

4. Think win/win - if you don't work hard your company doesn't have to pay you much - win/win.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood - make sure you understand your boss before you take advantage of the situation. Know his weak points, when he arrives and leaves, what time he takes lunch, etc. Those are the best times to read comics online.

6. Synergize - how to work in teams. Simple - the whole office has one big quake contest while one of you keeps a look out for the boss. Even better - use cameras. But the important thing is to work as a team!

7. Sharpen the saw - all work and no play make you dull - take some time off. Do some work even - shock everybody.

This is tongue in cheek - please do not think I do the above. 'Cept maybe Blog. Oops, theres the boss... until next time..